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Why Things Happen

Posted on July 14th, 2015 by

Question-Mark-FaceThe number one question my clients ask is,  “Why did this happen? 
We have an insatiable desire to know why. 
Why did he leave me?  Why did she cheat on me?  Why did I lose my job?  Why do I have this health problem? Why is this happening to my son/daughter? 
Why… Why… Why ?!?!?!
Twelve years ago, when I found out my ex-husband was unfaithful, I was obsessed with knowing why.   I thought it would lessen the stabbing pain of betrayal and help me regain my confidence.
But I never found out why.  I eventually had to accept that not knowing was okay and I had to rebuild myself and my life without the comfort of validation.  
In order to move forward in our lives, we need to give up needing to know why things happen as they do. 
We need to trust that what is happening in our life is happening for the best reasons and intentions.Read the rest

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Are You Addicted to Approval?

Posted on June 24th, 2015 by

6a00d8341c652b53ef01a3fa8fff03970b-800wiI admit it… I am a recovering approval addict.

For my entire life, I struggled with caring too much about other people’s opinions.

I would work hard to make people like me… even people that I didn’t like.  I would obsess about what I said or didn’t say for hours after talking to someone.

Deep down inside I believed that other people were better than me and that I was secretly a fraud.

I would compare myself to others and if I felt inferior, I would use that as an excuse to give up. I took everything personal.

This deep desire for approval gave me a PhD in people pleasing.  All I cared about was making everyone happy – an impossible goal!… Read the rest

Expand What is Possible

Posted on June 9th, 2015 by

1315518-bigthumbnailI’m writing to you from Key West, again!  But this time I’m not drinking Jack, I’m drinking green tea and green juice…. a very different trip!

I’m here with my kids, my ex-husband and his girlfriend.   I know, it sounds strange, but we have one of those unique divorces that ended in a terrific friendship.   We do holidays and vacations together and the kids love it!

When we travel, we are quite a crew.  His girlfriend is 8-10 years older than my kids so we get a lot of puzzled looks.

But I learned a long time ago that you have a happier life when you forgive and give love than when you hold on to resentment and plot your revenge.… Read the rest

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